Only you can end the senior menace

News item: The McGuinty Government may crack down on senior drivers in the Province of Ontario.

*sigh* Here we so again!

I swear that if Dalton McGuinty could afford to get rid of seniors, he’d turn our homes into day care centres for unwed mothers and ship us off to Baffin Island. Mind you, you’ll notice that this proposed crackdown comes in a non-election year.

The claim is that seniors may be suffering from dementia, so here’s a handy list of things to watch for. No: If you see any senior exhibiting the following symptoms, notify Dalton McGoony immediately.

• Died hair—especially orange, purple, lime green or puce.
• Body piercings—especially eyebrows, tongue or belly button.
• Driving erratically while talking on a cell phone or texting
• Listening to rap music in excess of 200 decibels, or that will shatter windows at 200 feet
• Mooning pedestrians on the sidewalk
• Driving while tending a kid in the back seat.

Remember: Only you can stamp out the senior menace!